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When the Bottle Broke the Man I Loved

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Freedom has a way of testing you. Just when I started to breathe again, life reminded me that healing doesn’t happen without heartbreak. Harold was my safe place. My laughter. My reminder that God still saw me. But he was also a man fighting battles I couldn’t win for him. There was a light in Harold that shone so bright when he was sober…a gentleness that made everyone around him feel at home. But when the bottle called his name, that light dimmed. The kindness in his eyes would fade, and I could see the war raging inside of him. I know he loved me. I know he tried. There were days I believed with everything in me that he could overcome it…that our love, our prayers, and God’s mercy would be enough to break the chains.  But addiction is a cruel master. It whispers lies that even the strongest heart can’t always silence. He hated that part of himself. I could see it in the way he’d hang his head afterward, ashamed and defeated. And I hated the battle too…not him, but the bottle tha...
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The Hayride

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I’m not really sure when I put on the mask. Maybe it was the day I said “I do.” I met my first husband in church. I thought I was doing the right thing…marrying a man who loved God. But something inside me knew, even before I walked down that aisle, that something wasn’t right. I should’ve trusted that feeling when I initially gave the engagement ring back. It didn’t take long before the accusations started—who I looked at, what I wore, where I went. I could bend over at church to pick up a pacifier and somehow that meant I was flirting with someone’s husband. I started shrinking, watching every word and every move, afraid of what would be said next. So I learned to smile through it. I poured myself into ministry and made sure everything looked perfect from the outside. I thought if I just served more, prayed harder, and kept the peace, things would get better. But they didn’t.  The truth is, I was dying inside and didn’t even know it. By the summer of 2016, I was drained...
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Taking Off the Mask

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There was a time in my life when I didn’t even recognize the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I was smiling on the outside, holding everything together...for my family, for appearances, for survival...but inside, I was crumbling. I had spent decades wearing a mask, pretending that everything was fine when it was anything but. Then God sent Harold. He wasn’t who anyone would’ve expected for me...older, rough around the edges, a simple country man with a tender heart and demons of his own. But in his quiet, imperfect way, he saw right through my mask. I’ll never forget the day he told me,  “It’s okay to take it off.”   In that moment, something inside me broke open...not in destruction, but in release.  Harold met me right where I was, no expectations, no judgment, and through him, God showed me what unconditional love really looks like. Our story wasn’t perfect. He had his battles, and I had mine. His addiction would eventually break us apart, and losing him le...
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Location: Texas, USA
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